


Memories and Nightmares

by bump_in_the_dark



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Description of attempted murder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hinted Bagginshield, Hobbit Spoilers, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, Mother Hen Dori, Nightmares, Probable OOC-ness, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-08 00:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bump_in_the_dark/pseuds/bump_in_the_dark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It was just a memory, Bofur. An old, painful memory".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories and Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [An Expected Journey](https://archiveofourown.org/works/658324) by [MarieJacquelyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieJacquelyn/pseuds/MarieJacquelyn). 



> I really need to stop getting plot bunnies at four in the morning.

 

 

The sound of thrashing and muttering distracted Thorin from his otherwise peaceful watch. He turned to find the burglar clutching at his throat, tears streaming down his face.

Quickly, Thorin moved to Bilbo's side. Many a time had he seen shield-brothers in the throes of a night-terror; reliving memories of war and other horrid times. "Bilbo", he whispered, gently shaking the hobbit's arm. His touch only made Bilbo thrash harder. 

"I'm sorry! Please... understand!" the hobbit cried.

Other members of the company were now waking to the hobbit's louder cries. Bofur and Ori in particular looked concerned. "Baggins, wake up!" Thorin called louder and the hobbit's eyes flung open. Instead of looking relieved to see a familiar face, as the dwarrow had expected, Bilbo lunged himself backwards, his face reflecting such a deep fear at the sight of the dwarf king.

Bilbo pushed himself against the side of the cave, still clutching at his neck. "Please don't be angry, I just wanted to help. Please, I'm sorry!"

"Of course I'm not angry, Bilbo", Thorin told him, raising his hands in what he hoped was a calming and unthreatening way. "I promise". He was to confused about the hobbits reaction to him to respond otherwise. Thorin moved closer the the petrified hobbit.

Bilbo was still shaking and the flow of tears did not slow. The dwarf king laid his hand gently on his shoulder and the flinch that went through the halflings body was obvious in both sight and touch. But it was like Bilbo was held up by strings that had suddenly been cut, and he collapsed into Thorin's chest; trying to get his panting breaths under control. Unsure as what to do, Thorin laid his arm tentatively around Bilbo's shoulders and started quietly shushing him.

After a few minutes of this, Bilbo lifted his head and wiped at his tear-sticky face. "I'm sorry about that, everyone", he muttered; a light tinge of pink at his cheeks. "I must say it's not often that that happens to me. Terribly sorry for waking you".

"Don't worry about that Bilbo", Bofur was quick to say. He was wringing his hat in his gloved hands; the distress clear on the miners face. "Are ye alright?"

Bilbo stood and walked to the front of the cave and leant against the brim. "Of course I am".

"Are ye sure? Ye looked terrified! What were ye dreaming about?"

"I'm sure. It was just a memory, Bofur. An old, painful memory".

"It is not often that painful memories leave the rememberer alright", Balin stated.

"Then you worry to much my friend", Bilbo tried to joke, but the slight chuckle caught in his throat.

"Would this memory have to do with your lost love, by any chance?" the elder dwarf questioned gently.

"Perhaps". Bilbo turned back to the dwarves. "Would you mind terribly if I told a story? Always makes me feel a bit better; a good story does." The dwarrows nodded. Bilbo gave a low sigh and gazed back outside the cave before he began.

"Once, long ago, a hobbit and a dwarf were traveling together. They had been venturing across Middle-Earth with the dwarf's friends and kin. You see, the hobbit was deeply in love with the dwarf, but was not fool enough to admit his feelings. The dwarf treated him quite badly in the beginning of their venture, but eventually grew to respect the hobbit. It took many a month, but the group made their destination. And they celebrated. But not all was good.

"The dwarf leader made to many bad decisions and the group was on the brink of war. The dwarf's mind had slipt and because of his madness, he could not see beyond his own greed and anger. The hobbit, in desperation took something from the dwarf and gave it to their enemy, in hopes of quelling their rage. But, by giving in to their foes, he had incurred the dwarf's wrath. The dwarf didn't see the logic in the hobbit's actions, merely the betrayal. The dwarf grasped the hobbit's throat and held him over the side of a mountain, threatening to dash him on the rocks".

Bilbo hesitated a second as he heard a few sharp intakes of breath from the dwarves. He squeezed his eyes shut and put his arms around his stomach before continuing.

"Something must have changed the dwarf's mind, because instead of dropping the hobbit, he threw him to the ground. The hobbit, now at the dwarf's feet, begged for him to see reason, to accept their enemy's offer of peace, but the dwarf would not listen. Instead, the dwarf exiled the hobbit from his land. But the hobbit stayed close as the dwarf wagged war.

"The dwarf fought his hardest, but eventually fell along with his only remaining kin. As the dwarf lay dieing, he begged for the hobbit's forgiveness and the hobbit gave him it freely. Once the dwarf breathed his last, the hobbit fled to his homeland, to cowardly to even wait until the dwarves were put back to the stone.

"From his return onwards, the hobbit lived in false comfort. The larders were full, the ale and pip weed plenty, but the hobbit was miserable, cold and alone".

When Bilbo opened his eyes and turned back to the dwarves, the young dwarrows looked horrified. The older ones looked down-right pissed.

"How could a dwarf that you spent so long with", Dwalin growled, " that you _loved,_ perform such an _atrocity?"_

"He wasn't in his right mind", Bilbo loosely defended, seeming the dwarf in question was only a few feet away from him.

"That is no excuse", Thorin rumbled.

_Oh, stop talking, please._

"To raise a hand against a member of his own company, when you were trying to avert a _war..._ it is the stupidest and most dishonourable thing possible".

 _Well, good one Oakenshield,_  Bilbo thought. _Y_ _ou just unwittingly called yourself dishonourable and stupid._

"It is certainly not something I like to dwell on", he said instead.

"With good reason", Dori agreed. He went over and pulled the hobbit closer to the rest of the company, before pulling him down next to Ori and started stroking his hair.

"I haven't heard of a war with a group of dwarves in recent history", Ori said.

"I imagine no one wrote about it", Bilbo said quickly. _Because it hasn't technically happened yet._ "It wasn't very important. Just a bit of a grudge tinged with greed and madness".

"Maybe he was mad", Dwalin stated. "But he was also an arrogant prick for treating you like tha' ".

"Not to mention unworthy of your love!" Fili cried. All the dwarves shouted in agreement.

"He wasn't always like that. Not always angry and brooding. There was a side to him", the hobbit mused, "one that he tried to never let people see out of fear of being percieved as weak; of not being strong enough. One that was gentle and kind. But he was loyal; so very loyal. Once you had his friendship, he would die for you. He would never ask someone to do something he wouldn't. If one of us was injured and we were still in some sort of danger, he would probably try to carry them to safety. But his own injuries", he shook his head, "he could have been stabbed in the stomach with half his head bashed in and he would avoid any help like a plague. And the way he protected his... his sons..."

"Sons?" Fili and Kili asked together.

"Oh yes", the hobbit replied. "You quite remind me of them actually".

"So they were devilishly handsome-", that was Kili.

"And brave as anything?" and there's Fili.

Bilbo chuckled. "I was going to say reckless to a fault and attached at the hip. They were a bit younger than you two are and so full of light and energy. And the way they looked up to him... He told them stories about battles he had fought in and life before the fall of Erebor. They would have done anything for him".

"So, he took two dwarflings, that would eagerly risk their lives for him, across the world and let them fight in a battle that inevitably got them killed?" Thorin asked incredulously.

"Well, yes-" Bibo began.

"Then he was stupid", the dwarf-king interrupted.

 _Oh, this would be almost funny if it wasn't about something so horrible,_ Bilbo pondered.

"Anyway, mad or not", he said , "unworthy or not, it is in the past. And I would like it to stay there".

"Of course Bilbo", Dori said. "Now everyone leave our hobbit alone. He needs to rest. Ori, if you would get his bedroll please". Ori nodded and stood.

"Oh, th-that wont be necessary. I can sleep fine over there", the hobbit protested.

"Nonsense", the silver-haired dwarf scoffed. "You are already over here and the warmth of your real friends will chase away anymore unsavoury memories".

Ori placed his bedroll in between Dori's and his own and Bilbo knew it was pointless to argue with the motherly dwarrow, so he simply lied down and tried to forget the shouts of betrayal and the merciless grip.

* * *

Once all of the dwarves had gone back to their bedrolls, Thorin went back to his watch at the mouth of the cave.

How could a dwarf- how could _anyone_  harm Bilbo so? The dwarf-king was furious at the hobbit's dead love. Bilbo didn't betray him, he was trying to save his life, all their lives! Where was Bilbo's old company when this was happening? Did they just stand around and watch? How could they do that to a comrade and friend?!

Thorin's fists clenched. If they weren't dead, the dwarrow would have hunted them down and flogged them. Unworthy of Bilbo's love indeed. No one that would raise a hand to someone was worthy of any affection. Not even his boys' love. To put two dwarflings in that sort of danger was irresponsible of a parent; especially after filling their heads with his battle prowess. At least he had fought to keep Fili and Kili at Ered Luin. And they were of age, if only barely. This dead dwarf's sons couldn't have been past their majority and he let them see and be killed in battle.

Thorin sighed and tried to turn his attention away from idiotic, dead dwarves and back to his watch but Bilbo's terrified face lingered in his mind's eye. The hobbit had reacted so strongly upon seeing the dwarrow.

 _Did his dwarf look like me?_ the king wondered. If he did, having the boys here would definitely remind Bilbo of his old love. Thorin shook his head, willing away thoughts of scaring the hobbit. Things would be better in the morning; the light would make everything better.


End file.
